September 2, 2008

Being that Guy!

I strive to be a balanced, calm, well educated, fit, supportive, understanding human to the people in my life who mean a lot to me. I support them in their quests to achieve their goals and although I don’t always understand them, I best try to I accept them as they are.

Often, I can be too understanding and wipe things under the rug in the hopes that they will go away in the long term. Unfortunately this means I compromise my own happiness at times, just for the sake of “keeping the peace”. My experience says that sometimes things do go away; sometimes they come back as they were before, and indeed, at times they come back with the fury of 12 women scorned. Literally.

There is no formula for how it comes back as there is too often human emotion and large chunks of ego involved. What I tend to do is internalise these things and take it the emotion out on myself, physically, and try to move on. As the years have progressed, I am learning to talk to people and I am constantly trying to be better at expressing my emotions without getting too out of control and letting too much ego into the equation.

Ego loves fighting and personal insults. I had a huge ego problem earlier in my life and its something I have to keep in check all the time. I find that the following things really affect my ability to interact with people without letting it get a hold of me:

1. Sleep. The better sleep I get, the better a person I am. I am a wounded tiger when I’m tired. Combine that with hungry and you may need Vladimir Putin to help you out.

2. Nutrition. When my sugar levels aren’t all over the place, I’m easier to be around. People wonder why I’m so calm and quiet and unemotional at times. Its not that I’m unemotional, I’m just less prone to super highs and lows.

3. Laughter is an amazing thing that makes my whole day better. Silly, childlike laughter. Watch this if you dont believe me

4. Training with a plan. If my training schedule is all over the place, I find it leaks into my life and my work patterns as well. The more I can follow The Basic Week, the better I am at all things around it.

Lately, I have been struggling to keep the peace. People have been super dependant on me and even though I know their happiness isn’t my responsibility, I find that I’m always trying my best to be that guy. I’m tired from training a little irregularly, which is a result of the absolutely dismal weather we’ve had this winter in the gorgeous Cape. There are supportive roles in my life which are putting strain on me because I don’t have all the answers, and maybe those people just don’t know it yet. Maybe I’m not that guy to them who has the magic answer. Personally, I find there is never a magic answer and that it’s a fallacy like 7 minute abs and 3 day diets. People are scared to take the time and effort and be involved in the process it takes to make permanent change to their lives. Unfortunately, there is no easy way.


Sometimes, we have to play different roles in a singular person’s life. Friend, Coach, Sounding Board, Accountability Partner, Lover, Wife, Husband, Financial Advisor, All out of one body. It all becomes very blurred especially when you throw emotions and a bit of ego in the mix there.

What works for me is to keep relationships simple and not try and be the one and all for someone in their life. Nobody can be the smartest, best looking, most caring, most understanding, accepting, loving best friend lover forever and ever. That’s a little too robotish for me. I expect mistakes and accept that as being human, nobody is perfect after all.

For me, just treat me with the respect I give you, don’t judge me for the small picture you see of me, there is lots of hard work that’s gone into this picture that you’ll never know about. Don’t imagine you are walking in my shoes, and I won’t imagine to be walking in yours.

I hope you will all note that although this post is a little gloomy, it’s not an indication of my overall being at the moment which is very positive and excited about the coming months.

Have an amazing day.

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