May 19, 2009

A boy and his best friend…

“The one absolutely unselfish friend that humans can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts them, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous is their dog.”

~George Graham Vest, Senator of Missouri, 1855

something on my mind recently had been the value to all men of having a best friend. as I look around me I see alot of married men who have only one real friend in their lives, one who they can really count on. This would be their wives. But eventually this seems to wear down the love of the marriage and they seem to drift apart.

I believe there are some things which a woman just can’t give a man in terms of friendship. there is something about 2 guys who are best mates hanging around, just having a lag about old times, talking about the future and sharing stories that are personal to them, that cant be replicated by women.

let me just clear up that I believe the converse is true. there are some things that your bestest estest mate would never be able to give you emotionally that your wife will give you in amounts you won’t know how to deal with at times. I am saying there has to be a balance, as with everything I preach.

If these 2 best friends are able to compete as boys do, its even better. Going on long rides or runs with my best mate is totally different to going for a long ride with my girlfriend. This will never change. The openness and honesty that comes from a relationship that is purely based on friendship is often something that is lacking in a husband/wive scenario.

I blame the western world, the make-up conglomerates and modern day television for the destruction of real love. as I have said before, real love cannot manipulate, it cannot hurt and its pure. I reckon that about 95% of relationships out there, married or dating, have some form of manipulation, have hurt or selfish intentions in them. that makes me sad, but I know I am striving for a real love relationship, where words like understanding are replaced by words like acceptance, unconditional and selfless.

I have this with my best friend. I accept him as he is, with what other people may call his flaws. I have his best intentions at heart and we can sit in a space and be quiet, without saying a word, and be comfortable. we can also giggle like schoolgirls, and be serious as Warren Buffet when we need to, but the intent is always pure.

A man and his best friend are vital. Vital to relationships, vital to business, vital to marriage. There is stuff to download onto a mate which you could never unload onto your wife. Its just how it is and I know it frustrates the living crud out of women all over the world, because they take it personally. Girls – its far from personal. When your boyfriend or husband wants time with his best friend, and doesn’t want you there, it had nothing to do with you, and its nothing personal. He needs that connection with someone else, in a comfortable place where he can let his guard down and unwind, unload and be inspired. Its not that he doesn’t get those things from you, but he gets them in a slightly different way.

its important that you let him have this time, and its as important that he takes the same time to spend with you. its a balance and when your relationship is built on the right form of love, there won’t be any jealousy or any vibes about this. it will just be done!

as always, I urge you to find the real love in your relationship, to learn to accept, to be unconditional, and to find a balance to between the effort you allow your significant other to give his mate(s), and the time you find your own mate(s) in situations where you may learn something about yourself, which may benefit the other important person to this love.

Once you get there, you will never go back, and you will laugh about how you used to be, and how amazing your love is now.

So go out there, and be great.

2 Comments on “A boy and his best friend…

Collin Allin
May 21, 2009 at 8:06 pm

I agree with this…every man needs a bromance…which just works and doesnt need daily energy or sacrifice.

That person you can look across the room at, smile and know they get it

Urban Ninja
May 21, 2009 at 8:59 pm



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