For the past few days I’ve felt the urge again. It went away for a few weeks recently. There was considerable pain involved in a 9hour 11minute stretch just before the yearning dissipated.
The emotional wreck that was left after those 551minutes found itself buried in frozen dairy, fried bread and real barley hopes and water. It had irregular hours of sleep, mostly a lack thereof. It relished in the lack of routine.
The yearning has some back.
Last night I felt it for the first time. That return to something resembling moving “smoothly”. I felt it for about 200m of the 2000m I swam this morning too.
It will take months for the entire picture to fit together again, for the quiet power to come back, but the yearning is the first sign that I am ready to return to action. Ready and willing to be tired, to push boundaries and remain calm in the process.
So if you see me out there on the roads or in the forest and I don’t always greet, it’s because I am chasing dreams and I sometimes get so into my zone that I swear the world is a blur. There are only beats and movement when I`m that far into my world.
The yearning is back. See you out there.