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August 6, 2010

Questions

I have loads of questions at the moment, many pertaining to society and why we do the things we do, what sense most of them make and truly, the real meaning of why we are here. It’s a great space to be in, contrary to what many would think. I will put it out there that its due to the training and work stresses I am under at the moment, the fatigue that comes with it and the absolute pure humanness of myself. I am imperfect in every perfect way. That is the way I like to see it. I strive for a balanced life, at times this means 7 hour bike rides and at other times it means I wanted to come home at 10pm but the wine and company were so good that I snuck in after midnight with a smile on my dial and a slight added tiredness in the morning. This is how I choose it.

It’s been a great week for great questions.

What am I doing long term with my life?

How am I going to create a legacy for my kids to aspire to?

How on earth am I going to run the next 20min at VO2 Threshold when I am bobbing and weaving across the road already like a ragdoll in a bullmastiffs mouth?

Who has the coffee?

What is up with the dating game?

Why, if in the first video, are all the guys Lance dropped, either back from a doping suspension or retired because of doping? With all the current accusations there are lots of questions regarding sport and the legitimacy of certain performances in certain sports. It does sadden me a little and I hope that it amounts to nothing so that my full faith can be restored into what is a special sport to me.

How am I going to execute certain scenarios in Kona?

When am I going to see my entire family together again?

Questions are important. I would hate to think I would ever know everything, this I have said before and I will always stand by it. Without asking questions we can’t get the freedom of the answer. Take a step back though and you have to be prepared to ask the question. Another step back and you have to be prepared for the right answer, which isnt the answer you might want, or the answer which leaves you with a improved self image. Courage is a key part in asking questions. Most people will only ask questions they know the answers to or the questions with safe answers.

Even then its not always that clear. Take a guy like Allen Lim, who stood by Floyd Landis, based on the numbers he put out on the day he essentially won the Tour de France. According to the facts, the numbers and the data, it was not a superhuman ride. The facts made perfect sense. Core temperature control, watts control and there you go. Simple, not easy, right? Not so in the current debacle with Landis. Allen Lim is one of the most obsessive, smart, calculating people on the planet and even he cannot answer all the questions, like:

Why come out now Floyd?

If the numbers were all normal, why risk everything if Floyd knew, still took the chance that he might get caught?

What am I doing in this sport if no matter how much sense it makes, some doos is still going to cheat?

I cannot imagine all the questions a guy like him asks himself all the time. They have to think of everything, as pioneers to a cleaner sport, three times as much as the guys who are just gaaning aan like there was no repercussion.

So whilst the never ending stream of questions resounds so loudly in my head, there is hope for me this extended weekend in the form of a mini-camp. 3 days of what it seems is going to be bad weather, long miles and lots of wet cycling gear. When out there, many questions are asked as well, especially on the harder weather days:

What the hell are you doing?

Where is the coffee?

What the hell are you doing?

Where is the food?

Ok, come to think of it, its all about coffee, food and why I am out there pushing the limits. Maybe that is exactly why I am out there?

One Comment on “Questions

[…] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Raoul de Jongh, Zoon Cronje. Zoon Cronje said: Excellent blog post! RT @raouldejongh: New Post: : Questions http://bit.ly/ci76al […]

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