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November 30, 2010

How it feels

Get out the car. Feel the breeze. The sun on my skin feels warm and a bit of a warning. Extra sunscreen before you head out…

Tying my shoes, I breathe deep, feeling the air move slowly and purposefully into my lungs, imagining my lungs powerful, strong and ready for the task at hand. My trail shoes are reliable, I tell myself. There will be no missteps, no falling. I feel the air move around my body and my muscles feel ready for the task at hand. I smile because life is so beautiful when I run in this area. I am about to head out alone, on my own power, into the unknown with a return to the car visualized.

I stand up and shake my hands, pointing my nose to the sky, eyes closed, filling my spirit with the sense of adventure I crave so deeply…

The first few steps are tight, the body is cold, but I know what feeling is coming. I know that soon, all will be forgotten. Work, stress, worry, it’s all about to melt into the earth below my feet, replaced by a feeling I can purely describe as euphoria. All my nerves begin to tingle, I get just a hint of goosebumps in the back of my neck as I do the first descent at full speed, running with arms flapping like a kid down a grass embankment. I stick out my tongue like a dog in the wind and close my eyes as the hill bottoms out, totally into this now.

My legs feel smooth and strong, like they could carry me over mountains, even if today is just a few hills. I always know the hills are going well when my arms feel as light as they do today, the feet seem to bounce instead of tread. Right now I feel semi gazelle-like going up this loose, rocky hill. I am aware of the smells, the views and there is water nearby, I can hear it. It’s so beautiful. Lavender is thick in my senses and I can almost chew on it. Man, the body is cooking right now. I can feel the sweat running down my back and my calves are burning in absolute joy as I negotiate this singletrack down to the river. SO SO good…

I scoop the water into my thirsty body. 25minutes already? Felt like 5. The cold water over my head gives me a cold shiver and the momentum returns instantly on the first step back towards where I came from. I spot a new trail and head up it. It takes me away from where I want to be but I go with it as I can see it drops eventually. My hands are hot after a narrow escape around a particularly tight corner but wow, the adrenaline rush is making me run so fast right now that I can’t look back. I am smiling with pain, laughing with fear and throwing caution to the wind as life has become one moment, this moment, right now, where everything works and nothing matters and I know that I will go on searching for this feeling for the rest of my life, knowing I may never find it again. The car comes into sight again, far too early. Do I go back for more? I am happyscared and addicted to the crazybeautiful energy I just got, wondering how I am going to do it again…

That’s how it feels…

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