It’s right there, you can taste it after the long road filled with mega sacrifice, filled with moments of your significant other giving you “the look” and feeling like the personification of this video. Finally, there is it. You have earned this, you have demanded that it come throughout the day, willed yourself through thick and thin and truly gone above and beyond just to get here. Now give it to me! You want to be filled over the brim and explode into a happiness that lasts for years.
And then it’s over and you`re left with this sinking feeling that you have been cheated out of something. The line, it wasn’t big enough. It didn’t “fill” you. It left you feeling like you did it all for nothing, that what’s left of your life makes no sense at all. You walk like a man beaten by a thousand bamboo rods, your mind cannot focus on anything but this sinking sensation that LIFE has given you lemons when you asked for pork belly.
I have been there. I have seen the ugly inside of the pit of your stomach which is raging like an itchy scab on your elbow. I stepped back from racing for a very long time before I discovered that indeed there were much bigger moments out there within this beautiful journey that we undertake. Moments where I never feel short changed. There are no lines in the road and no plan set out in these moments. I have no expectation that I will feel fulfilled in these moments. All I have is the expectancy of being filled to the brim with life, leaving me hungry for more. It’s the best hunger in the world, one I never tire of and one that its best served on a road in the middle of nowhere with the sun in my neck and my gearing in the big ring. It looks something like this…
It’s where the joy lives, it’s where it breathes and manifests the positive attributes of what we do into every piece of the puzzle that puts together the perfect picture of the life you are struggling for. It’s where you will find the answers that elude you in your manic life. It’s where you will discover the truest, rawest version of yourself. It’s where there is no grey, only colors so radiant that they fill your eyes to the brim with tears of love for the amazing gift you were given at birth to be able to move in the direction you choose. That by the simple action of moving your body forward, you are paying homage to the most special ability of all, the choice to affect. To choose your direction, to make the decision to move your entire being in the direction which you want to. It’s where it all starts.
Choices. Thanks dad. Thanks for telling me over and over and over again that it’s all about choices. Sometimes, it’s the simplest choice that affects so much. So move with economy and make your choices count. Don’t count on a line in the road. Instead, count on yourself.