June 7, 2011

Gym Etiquette

So last night I tweeted about gym etiquette. I had just had stern words with someone at the gym for the fifth or sixth time in my life. I felt a boundary had been crossed and we needed to discuss what decent etiquette is, for the gym, and specifically, the change rooms. Not too long ago, TheExHousemate, now commonly referred to as ThatGuy, passed on a crucial piece of history from Michael Mcintyre. This was it:

There are some vital things to share from the video (plus a few extras), specifically pertaining to the change rooms.

1. Keep nakedness to a minimum in the gym. Cruising around aimlessly brushing your hair whilst naked is an utter fail.
2. Keep drying to a minimum. Excessive drying is not how it’s done. You will NOT leak.
3. When dressing after a shower, pants go on first, not last, chop. You’ll see guys who have their ties and suit jackets on, socks up, with no pants.
4. No drying of your pubic area in the hand dryer, ever. Same goes for your bum. If you persist to bend backwards or lean forwards to get the appropriate area dry and you burn yourself, we will laugh.
5. When dressing, dress. Don’t walk around chatting to your mates in the buff. Why should I even have to explain this one?
6. When shaving, please keep your testicles out of the basin. This is basic human etiquette. I avoid all basins at the gym because of you. I kid you not.
7. When showering, close the door. We do not care to watch you wash, especially if you have a big sponge. Stay in your cubicle, while you’re at it.
8. The sauna is an area of cleanliness. When you sit down in the style of a “moon landing” sans towel, it irks the rest of us. Should you slip and fall through the glass window on your way out, we will most likely not care.
9. When you look around and make unnecessary eye contact in the sauna or the shower area, I will ask you what you are looking at and ask you to leave (like last night) before I march you out to management in your birthday suit. It’s not the stoom and stoot.
10. When changing, respect the area. Taking up the whole bench and disrespecting the size of your turning circle may result in a short, sharp elbow to the nose. If you have to move around, turn or bob in a crowded space, make sure you have your pants on. Refer to rule 3.

Really we could go on and on, so I am going to sign off with that and leave the comment section open for more. I think if we can get the first 10 rules going at your local gym, things will improve massively.

I have found that the guys who are taking chances at the gym tend to disappear from the gym once they’ve been verbally reprimanded and embarrassed in public. It’s a game for them, but we have the power to make the gym a better place to be.

3 Comments on “Gym Etiquette

June 7, 2011 at 12:41 pm

I think that gym management should put up all that points all around the gym change rooms.

June 8, 2011 at 9:45 am

I too use Point and am in favour of a ‘Third Change Room’ for those leacherous clowns. nothing worse than being ogled on the way to the shower and I always find it mildly disturbing that I am the only one closing the doors of the showering cubicle!

June 8, 2011 at 11:48 am

points 1 – 10 and that sweaty, stale, gym smell keeps me from getting a gym membership!!!


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