I deal with many people on a daily basis. Most them trying to make a living, doing what needs to be done, in order to pay bills, thrills and spills.
Most of them doing a compromised version of themselves to fit into society, to make it work, to fit that round peg into that square hole.
This is what makes people grumpy, unfriendly and spiteful, I am pretty sure of it. As my great friend Doc G says, the only thing he is truly impressed by, is kindness. Kindness comes from being real to the absolute core, being willing to compromise in spite of disappointment and being comfortable in your own skin.
Find what makes you real and practise at that, because let’s face it, you may have no practise and suck at it, at first. You`ll know what makes you real, what the best version of yourself is. It’s the stuff you are happy to do on your own, the things which make you happy even when you have to disappoint others to do them.
This holiday season, practise being real. Do as you please, not what others want you to do. Take the time to get back to your roots and get into the zone where you are not compromising the best version of yourself for the benefit and comfort of others.
For most guys, this means doing something manly. It sounds archaic and ridiculous, but climb a mountain, make something with your hands or service your vacuum cleaner. Be a man, man… you`ll be surprised at the effect of this. This means adventure, excitement and possibly, some danger for good measure. For the girls, it means being a lady. Make sure your significant other is aware that you want to be captivated and that it’s a part of his duty, as the man, man… to captivate you. Have long lunches with your team of friends while he is out cutting down trees (you get the idea). Be aware of what you like about the situations, the ideals and what the touch points are in conversation for you.
You know what real is, but often, we are so disconnected from it, we can’t even see if when it’s staring right at us. So we need to put ourselves in situations which allow discomfort, emotionally and physically as well as mentally, to bring out the real us. Paint, create, mould, cut, paste, run, climb, swim, cycle, walk, dig, clamber, etc. Do things that challenge you.
Me, I am heading on a big cycling adventure again. It’s the total disconnect and the choices out there that connect me with my real side and bring out the biggest kindness in me.